"This little story I would like to share with you is about flying.
"I have been on airplanes many, many times. I fly on a regular
basis, but continue to ‘hate’ flying. It scares me.
"While on board, I say to myself, what if one engine stops? What if
all of them stop? What if a wing catches fire? What if the plane
is not properly maintained? What if just one little bolt snaps? What if
the plane crashes? How can I put my life at the mercy of a mindless
machine?
"On my last trip from Los Angeles to Sydney a month ago (I have
done this trip several times before), I reflected that the plane has to
cross the entire Pacific Ocean with virtually no place to land if
anything goes wrong. What if the plane loses fuel and needs to land?
Where would it land? What if I die here?
"Then, and every other time, I sit back and think that I should
never fear death. Death is inevitable. After all, flying is the safest
mode of transport. If ‘my time is up,’ I would face death anywhere,
even in the safety of my bedroom. There is insecurity everywhere.
Volcanoes and earth-quakes may happen. A lunatic could approach me and
kill me on the street. I will only get what my Karma sets forth for me.
There is no escape, and there is nothing to fear.
"Those "logical" moments of thinking quell my fears and
make me relax.
"Ironically, as a kid, I always dreamed of flying. I would watch
birds with envy. I would look up at airplanes and think how lucky were
the passengers on board. How privileged they were to be able to see
coastlines, clouds from above, and real maps which I could only see in
books. How wonderful it would be to feel that one can actually defy
gravity and fly like a bird! I couldn’t wait for the opportunity to
fly. I was lucky enough to be in Lebanon, a land of many mountains and
glorious cliffs. I would often climb to a high point, look down, and
pretend I was flying. I even tried to build flying machines, but they
got me nowhere higher than the ground.
"Unfortunately, the dream of the child was replaced by the fear of
the adult. When I boarded a plane for the first time, I was 24 years
old. I was a neurotic and paranoid survivor of a ravaging civil war. I
was a fearful creature. Fear arose in me every time I flew.
"Whenever I flew, I invariably looked out the window, saw what was
underneath me, enjoyed the view, and wished I could see with the eyes of
the child who has died within me. The little joy I occasionally got from
flying was always overwhelmed with a much stronger sensation of fear—
even if I suppressed my fear with the delusive effect of alcohol.
"Today, I flew from Sydney to Emerald (Queensland). I had to stop
over in Brisbane to change planes. As soon as I boarded the plane in
Sydney, the same fear came back to me; I wasn’t surprised. I started
to wriggle, worry about every bump, and wished to get there as soon as
possible. When we reached Brisbane, the wind was fairly strong. The
landing was rough. I was very nervous.
"When I boarded the little twin-propeller plane to Emerald, I had a
window seat. The trip was rougher. I was even more nervous. I played the
song of calmness as I normally do, reminding myself that there is
nothing I could do and that whatever happens and there is no need to
fear anything. It worked as usual.
"Looking out the window, I remembered some words about the present—
the very precious moment of the present that we normally overlook. I was
not thinking of flying at all then. I was only remembering the words. At
that moment, I realized that I was only suppressing my fear about the
unlikely event of a plane crash. The calm I thought I had was nothing
more than a fool’s paradise. Even though I managed to suppress this
fear, I thought, I was still unable to enjoy the moment I am
experiencing now; the present.
"As soon as I awakened to this fact, I looked at the beauty of the
scenery outside as it was then, in that very moment; without having to
wonder and ponder as to what could happen next. I immediately jumped
inwardly and realized that I AM FLYING! I am above the clouds!
What a wonderful view it is. What magnificent technology man has
developed to allow me to see this. I am indeed flying, and I love it.
"Every new moment brought new scenery. The bumps turned into gentle
rocks of a cradle, an adventure ride. I was flying with the clouds. I
saw mountaintops. I saw towns like little models. I am finally
flying!!! For a few minutes, I was totally oblivious to the future
and what it might bring. It didn’t seem to exist (does it ever before
it actually happens?). I was just simply enjoying the present moment(s)
and the joy they brought to me. My childhood dream had come true.
"Do we ignore the present because we are unable to catch and
possess it? I wonder."
